I had my in-studio screen test yesterday.... The television program where I hold my internship was gracious enough to allow me their expensive studio time to help build my news reel. And for those of you that were wondering--it's true--the camera does add ten pounds. Yeesh...And I hated the camera angle on the right side of my face and I wish my lips were fuller and my nose less lengthy...But what can ya do? On an intern's salary anyway ;)
I will say I'm grateful to the set of genes I inherited that makes my voice all low and newsy, because having a set of chords that rings like Snow White or Minny Mouse just doesn't fly in this industry.
It wasn't until 6 minutes into the screen test that I began to get minimally comfortable with the camera. Where was this big personality everyone claims that I have? I just couldn't make Personality come out...
Oh, she made her appearance in between takes with the "ahhh! I screwed up!" faces and the self-deprecating comments that made the studio crew laugh, but for the most part she hid. Afraid the camera wouldn't love her, afraid her accent would slip out, afraid that everything she's worked, hoped, dreamed for wasn't actually for her...
I lay in bed last night just seconds away from sleep. Loving that I had the whole bed to myself (Brad's away on business). Loving that I didn't have an ounce of guilt for relishing those three--or four?--chocolate chip cookies and milk before I turned off the tv. Loving that despite my insecurities, I thought the makeup artist did a rocking job and I wasn't going to wipe off her masterpiece for nothin'. And in the midst of all my lovin' and seconds away from new dreams, pure gratitude and the realization of what had happened that day swept over me and I began to cry. Suddenly Romans 8:28 became more than an overused, overquoted verse in times of trouble that we use to encourage other Christians with. These 2,000 year old words were real affirmation for a real woman living in real times.
"And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose."
Wow. So this is what is happening. You're making good things happen because I love you and because I'm walking out your big plan for me. That's enough to make a grown woman cry...
I can't believe I'm inviting you into my 11 minutes of raw, unedited studio torture. Then again, I'm a sucker for torture and we live in voyeuristic days.
You can always say, "I knew Rikki when...she could barely get out the phrase 'teen mom' without her mouth looking like she ate super glue as a light snack before dinner."
I will say I'm grateful to the set of genes I inherited that makes my voice all low and newsy, because having a set of chords that rings like Snow White or Minny Mouse just doesn't fly in this industry.
It wasn't until 6 minutes into the screen test that I began to get minimally comfortable with the camera. Where was this big personality everyone claims that I have? I just couldn't make Personality come out...
Oh, she made her appearance in between takes with the "ahhh! I screwed up!" faces and the self-deprecating comments that made the studio crew laugh, but for the most part she hid. Afraid the camera wouldn't love her, afraid her accent would slip out, afraid that everything she's worked, hoped, dreamed for wasn't actually for her...
I lay in bed last night just seconds away from sleep. Loving that I had the whole bed to myself (Brad's away on business). Loving that I didn't have an ounce of guilt for relishing those three--or four?--chocolate chip cookies and milk before I turned off the tv. Loving that despite my insecurities, I thought the makeup artist did a rocking job and I wasn't going to wipe off her masterpiece for nothin'. And in the midst of all my lovin' and seconds away from new dreams, pure gratitude and the realization of what had happened that day swept over me and I began to cry. Suddenly Romans 8:28 became more than an overused, overquoted verse in times of trouble that we use to encourage other Christians with. These 2,000 year old words were real affirmation for a real woman living in real times.
"And we know that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose."
Wow. So this is what is happening. You're making good things happen because I love you and because I'm walking out your big plan for me. That's enough to make a grown woman cry...
I can't believe I'm inviting you into my 11 minutes of raw, unedited studio torture. Then again, I'm a sucker for torture and we live in voyeuristic days.
You can always say, "I knew Rikki when...she could barely get out the phrase 'teen mom' without her mouth looking like she ate super glue as a light snack before dinner."